Friday, October 9, 2009

What. The Hell. For.

Let's just get right into this because I'm sure you've heard enough about it already in the past 24 hours:

Barack Obama wins at life! Awarded Nobel Peace Prize in landslide victory!

Oslo, Norway -- "Obama! Obama! Obama!"

No, it's not a scene from the 2008 American presidential election. This is downtown Oslo and what you're hearing are the throngs of supporters for Barack Obama who gathered today to declare in one clear voice:

"You win at life, Mr. President!"

Since there is no official Nobel "Win at life" award, the committee settled instead for handing the American president the Nobel Peace Prize a mere 9 months months into his term. Despite Iran moving steadily closer to nuclear-ly destroying the only Jewish state in the entire universe and
unemployment rates in the United States flying towards 10%, the Nobel selection committee felt that Obama was such an upgrade over "that jerk who came before him" that they decided for the first time to award the prize based on potential for change rather than actual accomplishments.

"You see, Mr. Obama has worked so hard to apologize for the vile crimes of that jerk who came before him that he's made us all feel so much better about ourselves," committee chairman Thorbjørn Jagland said in a statement today.

"George Bush the warlord never apologized for creating Hurricane Katrina and infecting us with swine flu. President Obama has worked so hard to do the right thing for South Park and set the record straight by placing the blame where it belongs! On those sneaky Israeli Zionist settlers! I used to love that show [referring to South Park] and lately they've just been so full of themselves. Kind of like the Jews."

He later added: "And did you hear his delightful speech in Cairo? Mesmerizing. Add to the fact that he's the very first Black American President? He wins at life brother, no doubt yo!"

Obama joins other prominent terrorism/genocide enablers such as former president James Carter and such esteemed world leaders as Yasir Arafat in receiving the prestigious award which will be officially renamed as the "Nobel Obama Win At Life Award" beginning in 2010.

President Obama is the first sitting American president since Woodrow Wilson to receive the award. Mr. Wilson could not be reached for comment as he has been dead for several decades, but reports from his family are that noises that are consistent with the sound of a body turning over in its grave have been heard from his burial site.
Ok so that's not exactly what the article said...but it might as well have.

Let me get this straight...Obama, who in 9 months has not actually followed through on a single one of his major...

(and we do mean MAJOR)

...campaign promises gets an award for........what exactly?

Here's what the Nobel Prize committee actually said:

"for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples"

The statement continues:

Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics. Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play.

And further:

Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future.

See? I wasn't really that far off...I was just more direct. I mean honestly, a peace prize for "capturing the world's attention" and "giving people hope" - is this for real? Put him up there with people who signed historic peace treaties and actually fought to stop the spread of totalitarianism. People like Martin Luther King Jr or the guy that established the Red Cross. Are they serious? We're getting rewards based on POTENTIAL for success now?

But none of this would spark the kind of outrage we're seeing if it was actually legitimate. That would just make it a farcical mockery and nothing more. Yes, giving a million dollar prize and prestige of a Nobel award to someone based on what they might, possibly, hopefully do in the future would be a complete joke - but it could be swallowed if not for the obvious political implications of the move. And worse, what those political implications are doing for the future of freedom, democracy and of Western Civilization in particular.

Because you see, a major component of the prize wasn't just based on the hope and change fantasy-land that has surrounded Obama since he was running for Senate. They think he's actually ACCOMPLISHING GOOD. Witnesseth the following:

The Committee has attached special importance to Obama's vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons.


There is RIGHT NOW a BRUTAL, theocratic, military dictatorship in the Middle East that is furiously pursuing nuclear weapons while being run by genocidal maniacs with a massive suicidal death wish, that Obama has allowed to continue their action for over nine months - and you call that working for a world without nuclear weapons?

How DARE you.

How DARE these people set this precedent.

THIS is why the award is a problem. It would be bad enough if Obama had just "done nothing" to earn it...but because of some misguided obsession with attacking George W. Bush, the "Peace Prize" committee is actually PROMOTING being passive in the face of nuclear proliferation as if it was the same as working against it! How DARE they!

By setting this precedent, instead of encouraging the work of people who are ACTUALLY trying to stop nuclear proliferation and preventing what is apparently becoming an inevitable nuclear confrontation - they are encouraging ineffective methods and are ensuring that the proliferators succeed! Remember, under these circumstances intentions are irrelevant...only the results matter. If Iran actually achieves nuclear capabilities we will have Obama and his naive approach to the Middle East to thank for it. And his Nobel committee cheerleaders will share in the blame and responsibility for the fruits of their naive labor.

It's NOT about left and right, liberal and conservative, Democrat and Republican. This isn't an Olympic embarrassment being spun for partisan politics! Nor is its criticism reserved only for "right-wing extremists". This is the REAL DEAL. A Nobel prize is the peak of achievement in the democratic West. This is a nightmare - an absolute nightmare. It is the latest example of the very manifestation of an apparently self-immolating, suicidal West embracing its own demise.

How are we doing this to ourselves? How are we taking these people - who are putting forth the very policies that will lead to our children fighting our wars for us - and lifting them up as heroes? Obama and Mohammed El Baradei are working towards preventing nuclear devastation? By allowing Iran to continue its not-so-clandestine quest to vaporize my Israeli friends and relatives? This is insanity!

But so it goes. And so it goes. I can already see the headlines for the 2010 winner:

Ladies and gentlemen, for his tireless work in preventing genocide and apartheid in occupied Palestine by creating a deterrent to unchecked Israeli military aggression. For his numerous attempts to reach out to former American Warlord George W. Bush to have dialogue instead of violence. For his efforts to maintain a stable and safe environment for his citizens at home and promote the culture of peace and tolerance. For his ability to remain open-minded and question cultural norms even when taboo.

Ladies and've heard his message of hope and peace at such prestigious institutions as Columbia University, the Durban Peace Conference and the United Nations.

Ladies and gentlemen...will you please welcome YOUR 2010 Nobel "Obama Win at Life" Award winner:

Mahmoud Ahmedinjad!

"Mahmoud! Mahmoud! Mahmoud! Mahmoud! Allah-u Akbar! Allah-u Akbar! Allah-u Akbar! Allah-u Akbar!"

And why not? We are clearly on an already slippery slope and we keep dropping more and more ice cubes on ourselves.

Don't think it can't happen.

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